Bump Pictures

Dear Robbie,
Tonight we went to see the photographer that not only took our wedding photos, but also took some baby bump shots of me and you.  The first set was when you were about 10w.  The second set we couldn't find, but the last set was taken October 23rd.  The differences between how much I grew in that two month period was amazing.  But even more amazing was that instead of getting upset on seeing the pictures (I thought going in I was going to be so sad and missing you and your brother even more!), they comforted me.
While your dad and I were stressed about getting ready for you, and have a lot of guilt because I felt we weren't ready for you and therefore didn't enjoy the pregnancy and my time with you as I should of, the pictures soothed me.  They showed a different memory.  There is nothing but love and anticipation in all of the photos.  And as I reflected back to the sittings, I remember each pose.  What I was thinking...and it shows on my expression.
The best one, one of my favorites, is a shot of me holding you in the belly, and I am laughing.  And immediately I remembered that pose...you were kicking and moving and squirming so much.  We were talking about you (the photographer and I) and as we talked, you kept kicking!
Those pictures are pictures of hope, of a carefree time.  I wish I would have enjoyed my pregnancy with you more and cherished each day.  But I am grateful that your dad and I got these pictures taken, because today they are the best gift I could have gotten.  They are a reminder of my time with you, short as it was.
I love you and I miss you so much!!!  It hurts me to even admit that you would be 4 months old this month, and enjoying your first summer at the beach and pool.  Sitting up, and starting to play with your sisters and dog.
I wish you were here with us!
I love you!
Mommy