While this blog first began as a journaling experience after my 2nd trimester loss, it has evolved into a spot where I can express my emotions directly to my boys, who I know are watching over me and their family.
The other end I had in view turns out to have been based on a misunderstanding. I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process. It needs not a map, but a history...C.S. Lewis
Mommy loves you Robert, and I am so sorry. I miss you so much!!!
I am writing this blog not just as a way to me to give my sorrow its history, but to maybe help those who are going through the same sad journey. If you are reading this and know someone who needs to know they are not alone in their sorrow, please feel free to share it.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Thank you boys
I know I already spoke with you guys today...but I wanted to say thank you for my flowers. Your sisters bring me dandelions all the time. It was very special to look down at the spot where I was standing and see the two little dandelions between my feet.
i can't stop thinking about you two...how robbie would have been almost 5 months old already, and rango we would be registering and getting your crib. its hard to think of you two simultaneously. if robbie hadn't been sick and gone to heaven, we never would have had you Rango. But is it selfish of me to want both of you?
I know you are in good hands up there--make sure you listen to your great grandparents! and please make sure you are playing nice with all the other babies up there--i know their mommies, daddies and families are missing them too. don't cause too much trouble!
and if either of you could please help out your sister--A is still upset, and misses you both. E on the other hand thinks of you, and told me she wants to be able to go to heaven to play with you both one day.
I love you both!
Mommy
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